So apparently last night (about 6 months ago), I was a horrible judge of character...

I ended up accepting a date to go out for drinks with a guy that I had never met (mistake number 1). He was a friend of my good friend "Sally's", a cop, and an alleged good guy. So, anyway, I accepted said date with "Ed Rooney," because, at the very least, it was an excuse to get drinks at this new bar i really wanted to go to.

Well, the evening was going ehh..okay. The conversation was alright, he was alright, and the table tap of blue moon was fantastic. It wasnt until we left for the next bar that things started getting a little shady mcshades. I forget what he did or said, but at the point where we got to the next bar I was utterly repulsed by him....enough to kiss an 80 year old man while Ed Rooney was in the bathroom (no questions please).

Well, I had told Ed Rooney before the evening started that it was okay to sleep over; after all, he was coming from like 40 minutes away and I dont always condone drinking and driving...unless I'm SOL for a ride and i need someone to drive me :) ANYHOOTER!!.. We get back to my place and this is when the shite reallllyyyyy hits the fan.

I have a little Chihuahua, "Mr. Biggelsworth" that is attatched to my hip..she sleeps with me every night. Well, while Ed Rooney and I were on complete opposite sides of the bed with Mr. Biggelsworth curled up by me, he proceeds (along with his tourettes) to pick her up, toss her out of the room, and scream absolute insane words at my poor little baby who was doing nothing but sleeping. Well me, drunk and tired and knowing she would just come right back in the room, passes out..unknowing of what I was about to wake up to.

Dun, dun, dunnnnnnn. So, I wake up and first thing I do is thank God that I am still alive and this crazy didnt decide to pick me up and toss me out the room or something. Next thing I do, is notice a really cold breeze coming in my room. "Strange, I think," longing to brush my teeth after recalling the smootch with the Crypt Keeper the night before. Well, i get out of bed and notice a few blinds from my window just chillin on the ground. "Super strange," I say to myself again. Well, once dumb ass wakes up I question him about the blinds on the ground and the bad draft coming from my window. "I was hot but i didnt know how to open your window so i broke it open" he says with morning breath I could smell from China. WOW!!! WOWOWOWOWOWWWW WHAT A GENIUS!!!!!!.

We leave my room and, as I'm on the phone with maintenance asking them to come fix my broken window before someone crawls in and kills me and Mr. Biggelsworth, he proceeds to head to the kitchen. When i get off the phone I head in there to grab some water and what do I see? This guy i hardley know making a hot pocket, sticking his grubby little fingers in my olives, and drinking orange juice out of the carton. Oh hellll noooooo

Well, needless to say, once Ed Rooney finished munchin on his hot pocket he haddd to gooo. So, apparenly I need to do some kinda of a background check for crazy before I decide to let my friends hook me up with puppy hating, window breaking, olive grabbing bastards.

And thats my story and I'm stickin to it.